florence, home, moving, Uncategorized

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Navigating My Future in Florence

by almostfiorentina

It’s been such a long time since I’ve done this. I’m at my most honest when I’m writing so I think I’ve been purposely avoiding this blog because I was scared of facing the thoughts that have been swirling in this bilingual brain for a hot minuto. But I’m back and feel like it’s time to share all of the things.

Florence is the best, the worst and I am fiercely protective of her because I loved her first. Before all of the TikTokers were flooding your social media with travel tips about this already overcrowded town (you can include me in this because I am a sellout), it was just me and her.

She was mine.

Ever mine, ever thine, ever ours, you know?

But like most love stories, things change. That’s just the way life goes sometimes. Boundaries are pushed, and things break. And I’ve been a little harsh and judgy with her lately (her being Florence—my therapist and I have been exploring the complex and weird mother/daughter relationship I have developed over the years with this city).

I moved here when I was 19. I’m 34 now and the city I live in today is not the city I fell in love with. Florence is being crushed by tourism and it’s hard for me to imagine a future here sometimes. I know that’s not what a lot of people want to hear, but I’d rather be honest. Moving here was the best decision I’ve ever made EVER and I’ve built a life (and an incredible career!) because of it, but I am starting to feel a little trapped by the amount of people, the lack of housing and the spewing of vitriol from drivers and bikers as soon as I try to cross the street.

Some of these feelings have been coming up because I am approaching the 5-year anniversary of buying my first home in Florence. You might think that’s not an important anniversary, but in Italy, you have to pay capital gains tax and personal income tax if you sell property that was purchased less than 5 years ago. SO in a few months, I will finally able to start exploring the idea of selling my house and moving somewhere new (because girl I was NOT about to pay all that tax!). I feel so incredibly lucky that this is something I have the option and freedom of doing.

I’m still so in love with my kitchen. Do you remember this kitchen?

I used to envy expats moving to Florence for the first time because I longed for that excitement and love. I knew what it felt like to fall head over heels with a place and I wanted to experience it all over again. And I knew they were about to discover how healing Florence could be. But I haven’t been feeling that way lately. I still think Florence is perfect for travel and study abroad, but I do think it takes a bit of extra effort to settle down here and be happy. And maybe that’s just because I’ve been here so long that I’ve seen the good, the bad and ugly of this city. l guess I just lost my rose-colored glasses somewhere along the way.

And this whole not being envious of newcomers is a bit of a red flag for me—jealousy has always been my most powerful tool. You might think jealousy is a bad thing, but I’ve learned to really cherish mine. When I am envious of someone or something, it’s a very clear sign that I need to sit down and understand where the feeling is coming from and what is missing in my life. This isn’t about relationships—I’ve never been jealous of my partners. Instead, my jealousy comes up with things like home ownership, the cities people choose to live in, health and job freedom. But these days, I am jealous of people moving to bigger homes (with NO NEIGHBOURS!) in the countryside and who get to hear the sound of birds in the morning instead of 8am traffic. Does this just mean I’m getting old?

So what do you think? Should I move? Or will this feeling pass?

Please share your advice in the comments because I’m feeling a little bit lost.

P.S. I’m sitting here with a cold after a long and sleepless weekend in Milan so today, I’m a little envious of those who can breathe through their noses. I went to the Taylor Swift concert and I had the time of my life. If you’re lucky enough to have the opportunity to go to one of The Eras Tour shows, I beseech you to go. Best concert of my life.

MAGICAL

Thanks for being here xx

Lisa

10 thoughts on “Should I Stay or Should I Go? Navigating My Future in Florence”

  1. You posted this at a time where I think many expats needed to read it (or maybe just me). I just made the difficult decision to return home to the US this October, granted my time here has been all of 4 years, it was still a tough choice and realization to come to, especially having a partner of 2.5 years who will remain here in Florence. The feelings you’re feeling are beyond relatable… thank you for posting this and making me feel less alone and less crazy for my declining voglia to stay in this magical city. I still love her, but the thought of staying is now heavier than the thought of leaving. I wish you all the best with this impossible decision. 🫶🏼

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  2. Follow your instinct and not your fears (if you have) cause we only live once. And one day you might ask yourself why you have stayed despite the red flags you are having now. And it might be a bit too late to go back forward. From an Italian expath in France. Bisous

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  3. Girl this is it.

    First of all, your decision to let yourself be honest with yourself, and therefore vulnerable is admirable.

    I one hundred percent understand where you’re coming from, and know so many expats that feel the same way.
    I used to live in Campo di Marte, and even that was too much chaos for me. I was considering moving back the US (space is SUCH a beautiful thing), and even tried to – it didn’t even last 6 months.
    So I ultimately decided to sit down and figure out what I really wanted, in addition to what I felt was missing from the life I was living at that time. Nature and space turned out to be hugely important to me, but I wasn’t willing to give up the relationships qnd life I had worked so hard to build over the years here.
    I ended up finding the the perfect solution for what I needed: Impruneta.
    Perhaps you just need a change of scenery?

    Whether it’s going back to Canada and giving a whole new life a try, or searching for a solution here, you’ll figure it out. You have thus far!

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  4. Change, the third leg on the stool after death and taxes.

    Its inventible.

    50 years ago or thereabouts I visited the Sistine chapel. The chapel had little trolleys with mirrors on them so you could look at the ceiling almost like laying on your back. It was cool and calm inside. Now that same room is filled with a tsunami of insta tourists getting the shot of “here I am”. Ticking one more line of their bucket list of must dos before they die. On occasion for me, that cant be soon enough. I still love Rome. I still love standing on the pavements where Rome’s legions once stood. Still love sitting at a table in the evening watching the throngs go by as I sip a negroni. Has Rome changed of course it has in 50 years it hasn’t stopped but, in Rome there is still a spirit of what I saw when I first went and why I fell in love with it. Why I will always throw a coin into the fountain. I am just a tourist like everybody else however much I feel its my city.

    Change is inevitable but, why you liked a place originally should not be diminished by tourist hordes. Florence when I visited was humming. We arrived by train (always the best way to arrive at a destination I feel) from Venice. We had a list of must dos as we pushed through the station to a taxi. We had booked a hotel that was above a shop very close to the centre. We hauled the case up the stairs and checked in. This was a place to sleep and base ourselves to see Florence. Off we rushed to see this and that. As the crowds thinned and the night drew in we sat at a restaurant and watched as the world went past. The entertainers arrived and the street took on a different complexion. As sleep overtook us we returned to our hotel. Woken by the clatter of the bin man we ventured out into the cool morning and walked to the river for coffee. The hordes arrived again and we stepped back. For me, as it was for the German who refused to blow the last bridge in the retreat from Florence, it had captured me. I took away not the memory of shuffling through the Uffizi but the meals the entertainers the people the morning and the night. That for me is what really going, or living in a place is for. The smells, the laughs and the experience of the difference. Of course uploading a bad picture of you in front of David’s genitals will always be welcomed by your followers however, maybe there is a better way and, it may be coming to the Florence near you. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/apr/18/tourism-florence-michelangelo-david-visitors-souvenirs

    So what’s the answer, do I stay or do I go, make as many lists as you like of the pros and cons but, is what drew you to the relationship you have with Florence still there? Or, have you lost what made it special and just grown apart. Will you hurt when you leave or will moving on be the adventure you desire?

    After 35 years of living in Hong Kong I am packing to leave. There are many reasons for this, however, I’ve bought a broken house in Scotland and I am working with an Architect to bring it back to a habitable condition. Its a new adventure, a new beginning, I will never mentally leave Hong Kong because it is indelibly etched on my eye lids but, its time for change, for new experiences new people and that’s just life. I’m excited and scared and sad all in the same breath.

    Leave if you feel your heart needs to be elsewhere, stay if the pain of leaving will be too great!

    That advice was probably as useful as a chocolate fireguard!

    WordPress.com / Gravatar.com credentials can be used.

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  5. ”Florence is the best… because I loved her first.” Straight to the heart. She’ll always be there- reliably the same and different all in the same breathe. That’s her magic.

    and yeah… welcome to mid 30s. Silence and space is everything. 😉

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  6. I have heard from several people how Florence has become a “Disneyland.” Too many tourists doing stupid things and not respecting the art and architecture of the city being only the worst. I can imagine after so many years of a lovely, quiet life there, the changes must be disconcerting. In my mind, it all depends on what you’re looking for in the future: a bustling life filled with lots to do and see; a quiet contemplative, relaxing life; or something else/whatever. There are so many wonderful small towns in Italy, many of which are not likely to ever turn into a Florence (as far as tourism goes). So, take your time and think about what you want the next 10-20 years to look like. And remember, wherever you live, you can always go back and visit Florence.

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    1. Florence has become a “Disneyland” thanks to northern American tourists. The funny part is that there are American tourists who also complain that there are not as many things to do in Florence as there are in Disneyland.

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